Being in love or finding someone you connect with on several levels is such a euphoric feeling; almost makes me wonder why it’s not illegal. I think the most dangerous addiction there is, is the high of another human being. It is very easy to want to give yourself and everything you have to offer to somebody that you feel deserves it. What happens when they don’t deserve it though?
There is something to be said for the people who can see that somebody is clearly not for them and just move on about their life. However, there are a lot of people that get lost in the sauce and there’s nothing wrong with that. Getting back MENTALLY is so much harder than anything you can physically do. So what do you do when you’re clearly not wanted in a place where you once found complete solace anymore? What happened up to this point?
Did you question yourself?
Did you compare yourself?
If there’s one thing that’s worse than a broken heart it’s internal turmoil. That’s why the best thing you could do when you find yourself in this position is to
Answer to YOURSELF!
If you do not get right with yourself, everything else will fall apart. You need to be present and acknowledge everything that you’re feeling down to the
“I saw all the signs but I just wanted somebody around and I was lonley.”
“I didn’t want to admit to myself that I couldn’t keep him here.”
“Maybe if they see all the sacrifices I’m willing to make just to stay down for them, they’ll realize how much I love them and start appreciating me.
“I know she’s a good woman but i’m just not ready to commit OR let her be with anybody else.’
None of this is to be confused with accepting that maybe you did have a part in things going left.
The biggest thing that comes from answering to yourself is it takes the right away from anybody else to disrupt your peace. Once you admit what the situation is to yourself, what you may or may not could have done different, and commit to moving forward, YOU’RE LETHAL. So cry and feel everything you’re feeling because there’s no time for tears once you dedicate yourself to looking forward.
2. BE PATIENT W/ YOURSELF
This one is so crucial because everybody wants to “move on first” or be “happy” again first but nothing is going to happen overnight or even in a month. You’re going to miss them! You’re going to see something funny and wish you could call them up and tell them about it. Adjusting to doing things alone again is a major transition and that’s why the best thing you can do is be patient with yourself. You may even have to deal with seeing them with somebody else or them constantly trying to find ways back into your life but if you know it’s over..let it be over. In a perfect world, these things would come naturally but what if the relationship ended because they cheated or they mentally broke you? It’s going to take a lot more to build up that strength to bounce back, forgive the pain, and rebuild yourself. Move at your own pace love and see the process through to the end.
3. OCCUPY YOURSELF
I know most of you have heard “An idle mind the is devil’s work shop” and I don’t know truer words. An idle mind will have you creeping on their social media AND the person they’re dealing with, finding ways to run into them, or sending those late night texts. The best way to combat an unhealthy habit is to create healthy ones! Find an outlet! Sitting on the couch with bomb snacks and watching Netflix is NOT occupying yourself, although in the initial stages of a break up this habit speaks to my soul. However, if you need to speak with a therapist DO IT! If therapy isn’t your thing, start keeping a journal. It’s always refreshing for me to go back weeks or months later and see the progression in my feelings. Get in tune with your sexy and take a dance class in heels. travel. go to concerts/festivals. Do whatever you need to do to be at your essence.
4. INVEST IN YOURSELF/TREAT YOSELF
There’s no better time than being at a low point to reinvent yourself. Yes you may have to pick up some pieces but why not add some new pieces in the mix? Do you want to start a business? Create a business plan. Do things that are independent of anybody else and that bring you happiness. While you’re at it, reward yourself for reaching certain points of progression. You reached a goal weight? Hit up that fall Giuseppe line. You finally went through with getting that LLC? Splurge on something that will make you feel good about YOU! Keeping this balance will push you to a space where a broken heart is the last thing on your mind.
5. FLOURISH ON EM
This is the part where you bounce back on em! You’ve been working out, paying more attention to yourself, going back to school, and just being good to YOU! you’re not looking to impress anybody, you’re in tune with yourself, and the birds are chirping. You wake up in the morning and the first thing on your mind isn’t checking their social media or wondering what they’re doing. Get some happy music going in the background, take a few minutes to look in the mirror and recognize how bomb you are, and then make up your mind that today is going to be a good day! Put that positivity into the world and it will circle back around to pick you up if you catch yourself having a low point.
I know these things are always easier said than done and I didn’t really touch on a lot of low points and struggles that REALLY goes down behind a broken heart but this is just a start. I hope some of these things were helpful and not too repetitive if you’ve already found yourself with a broken heart before. Thank you for reading! Please leave any feedback or constructive criticism below.