Open letter to Cam

Where do I start?

From the moment I knew you were coming I was filled with excitement and fear.

Excited to have an extension of me in this world.

Afraid to love you unconditionally.

I’d never had something so permanent present itself in my life. What if you weren’t meant to stay with me? Could I ever be the same after that? Scared to soften up and allow such a pure thing to penetrate my heart.
You have changed me in so many beautiful ways that I don’t know if I could ever show you how you saved my life.
Carrying you was not easy. I had so many negative things going on around me. I didn’t know where I was going to pull the love I needed to give you from. I was very lonely but even from inside of me, you gave me reassuring kicks to let me know you had my back and everything was going to be ok.
I began talking to you every day as I went through my day. Just me and you. I asked you what we were in the mood for eating, how life was going for you in there, and even consulted you about where we should live next. You were already such a huge part of me.
As time got closer for you to make your big debut I would just constantly ask God to help me lead you. I didn’t feel like I deserved you. I felt like I would let you down because I couldn’t give you a solid family out the gate.
When you finally came, nothing else mattered anymore. All my doubts, worries, and fears were lifted. I was barely healed from my c-section and it was so tough for me to do things on my own but you were patient with me. It’s like you knew I was doing my best. The first sign that we were an undeniable duo.
As time went by I fell in love with you. You tore down so many walls that no other human being would’ve been able to. As your personality began to shine through I could tell that this journey would be an amazing one and if I had nobody else, I had you.
I hated to let you see me at those low moments. No child should ever see their mother cry herself to sleep but you stayed right by me. Now I couldn’t even have a bad day if I tried because you come hop right in my lap or on my face and give me all of your sweet kisses. You’re the best friend I could ever ask for Cameron.
I’ve missed a lot of firsts for you but I promise as we continue on this journey, I will never put anything before you. I will make sure you know you always have me. I will prepare you to be the most successful and happiest man that you could possibly be. I will always support you when all odds are against you and make sure that you come out on top every time. I could never repay you for giving me the will to live when I was honestly ready to call it quits but I sure am looking forward to shining with you. I love you sweetie and nothing can change that!

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Let me know how your child/ children  changed your life. Thanks for reading!

XO,

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2 thoughts on “Open letter to Cam

  1. This made me so teary eyed! I can most definitely relate. We have something in common when it comes to our children which is if they don’t do anything else, they bring out the best in us & make the stormy days so much better. Mommy life is lit & I wouldn’t trade it for anything!! You rock hun!!! Cameron was blessed with an amazing woman that he gets to call mom!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. THANK YOU SO MUCH!! for the support and kind words. I was ballin like a baby writing it but its just so overwhelmingg how blessed we are sometimes.

      Like

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