If i had to envision a spokesperson for Narcissists this would be it
Narcissist- a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.
Now see, that just sounds like someone who’s vain right? WRONG! This person does things in the best interest of themselves at all costs. Depending on what they want for themselves will determine the type of people and situations they manipulate to move in their favor.
This is a term that I just recently started using properly because initially I just called these people liars or deceitful but honey, it’s SO much more than that. Narcissists have so many character flaws that trying to figure them out or how you can even defend yourself against them is confusing in itself. Your best bet is to cut them out of your life altogether if you can.
The reason this type of personality is so damaging is because the narcissist never stops to consider the people they involve in their mess. It’s not like these people come off as toxic or even somebody you should stay away from. They’re usually the most inviting and charismatic people you know and by the time you are even aware of what the hell is going on, you’re in too deep.
Narcissism is much like a disease or sickness so I’m going to go through a couple of things that lets you know the signs, symptoms, treatment, and ways to prevent yourself from even being in a position to deal with one.
- Manipulation- This can come in subtle ways initially because if they’re obvious out the gate, you’ll be like HELL NAH and then they won’t be able to use you for their benefit. Types of manipulation looks like:
- them attempting to make you comfortable and knowing your weaknesses. This way when they need to appeal to you, they already know what buttons to push.
- THEM doing something completely wrong but getting YOU to question YOURSELF so you won’t focus on what just clearly went down.
The second you notice these things. TAKE OFF! and I’m not talking about a light jog..i mean like…
this leads me to my next sign
This is probably the worst one of all. If you’r’e being manipulated, you’ll catch on pretty quickly. If you’re being deceived, this means you are believing a fallacy for whatever reason when reality couldn’t be further from what you’re being led to believe.
This is when lying comes into play and I swear to you there’s nothing I hate worse than a liar. The only thing that might be worse than lying is everything that follows behind that lie to get me to believe it instead of letting the truth flow freely. How tragic is it to hold a conversation with somebody not knowing if anything coming out of their mouth is true?
You won’t see symptoms immediately and this is with any type of relationship whether it be friendship, family, business partner, etc. Depending on how embedded this person is in your life will determine how much of an effect they have on you.
If you’re somebody who is extremely sure of yourself, you’ll notice it quicker but that is one of the more obvious symptoms. You’ll start questioning your discernment and in a sense, be afraid to voice your concerns even when you know something is wrong. Next thing you know, your entire life will have gone to shit and you’ll be sitting there like
Your overall confidence will drop and who knows where you could end up after that because confidence is absolutely everything. It affects your self love/worth and your ability to function in your normal state of being.
I know some of these things sound extreme but these kinds of people attack your mind and everybody knows once you conquer the mind, everything else follows. Imagine a family member you value changing the way you view yourself. Imagine your significant other manipulating you to the point of uncertainty or depression. Imagine a business partner convincing you that you’re not valuable and your dreams/visions will never come to fruition. NARCISSISM IS REAL!
Once you finally get out of this miserable cycle, your first steps should be to regain your sense of self which will never happen if you are still in contact with this person in ANY way. CUT THEM OFF! I DON’T CARE WHO THEY ARE.
Be honest with yourself about where you allowed things to go. Acknowledge what about you didn’t stop things from getting this far. Why didn’t you cut things off sooner? Some of these things sound like self blame but if you don’t identify them then what’s going to stop this from being a reoccurring thing?
The next thing you should do is occupy yourself with positive energy and people. If you have a passion, dive into it. If you do have amazing friends, lean on them a little bit..that’s what they’re there for.
Understand that your trust might be a little jaded but be patient with yourself and work on your discernment.
I wish I could tell you that once you deal with a narcissist, you’ll never have to deal with one again but that’s a whole lie. In fact, you’ll find that even people who aren’t a full blown narcissist have narcissistic characteristics. Some people realize it. some don’t. The ones that realize it and don’t care to change are the ones you should completely stay away from. They’ll ruin your whole life AND plan your funeral. Just run girl. Again, no light jogs.
sorry, that’s just an excuse to use Joanne the Scammer gifs. ANYWAYYY
If you start to see the signs though, distance yourself. The sooner the better. Don’t give them an excuse..just dip. Don’t allow them to convince you that you’re wrong, don’t let them convince you that you owe them an explanation..the less talking, the better. DO NOT FEED THE NARCISSIST! Once they know they can maneuver your thought process, everything becomes a game to them and it’s ALL at your expense.
Alright guys so I tried to give as much info as humanly possible without being OD on how to deal with and avoid narcissistic people. I hope some of these things will keep you on your toes. My most sincere condolences if this post if relatable. I know your pain BUT when you know better, you do better. Let me know about your encounter with a narcissist or more things to be on the look out for. Thanks for reading!