Subscriptions worth the hype

If you’re anything like me, I LOVE a good subscription. There’s just something about getting a little monthly gift to me from me. I’ve dialed back on my subscriptions some because they DO add up but I can shed a little light on the ones I found to be worth it.
First up is:

Curlbox

Calling all Naturalistas!! This was my very first subscription and honestly it helped me so much in trying to figure out what products worked on my hair in my big chop days. If you’ve been natural for any amount of time, you know those products aren’t cheap. One container of leave-in conditioner can easily run you $10 and you know you can’t JUST get the leave-in conditioner. You end up spending $40 JUST TO SEE how 1 line of hair products work with your hair. With Curlbox you spend $25/month to receive 2-4 FULL SIZE PRODUCTS plus a few samples on the side. You can’t beat that, so if you ARE natural or you’re looking to cross over, give Curlbox a try. It’s worth the hype!

 

Scentbird

Does Versace want to charge you $80 to make people lust after you when they catch your breeze? Scentbird can help you accomplish the same level of stranger danger for $15/month. You know how nostalgic scents can be so make it a good one. With Scentbird you can choose from a wide variety of parfums/ colognes and you will receive 8 mL of heavenly goodness delivered to your door each month. These are really convenient for air travel and have honestly lasted me anywhere from 6 months to a year. Just complete the little quiz that lets them know what you like and then just wait for your bottle in the mail.

amazon prime

Amazon Prime

Honestly, if you aren’t up on Amazon by now. i’m not sure how you’re getting by in life. I think we can all agree and say that same day/next day/2 day shipping is worth ALL THE HYPE!! Amazon has SO many services that it’s hard to believe its only $100/year but we don’t question them, we just let them work their magic and hand them our money. You want to catch up on your favorite tv series? AMAZON GOTCHUU! You need someone to come mount your tv? AMAZON GOTHUU. Grocery shopping? Guess what?…AMAZON GOTCHUUU! It’s like you can’t lose. Give them your money. You won’t regret it.

nature box

Nature Box

I consider myself a certified snacker and all the good snacks are always the worst for you. That’s where Nature Box comes into play. You can mix and match your selections and you even get a 14 day free trial to see what kind of snacks you’re feeling. You’ll start getting hella bomb and healthy snacks mailed to you so now you can eat ALL the snacks AND still look like one. Thank me later!

Let me know if you have any dope subscriptions that are worth the hype. Thanks for reading!

XO,

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Road to Closing

HEY GUYS!! It is with GREAT pleasure that I can now announce that YA GIRL IS OFFICIALLY A HOMEOWNER!!!

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YAAAAYYYY!!!! This is a huge deal to me for a few reasons.

  • I’m 24 years old
  • I did this allllll by myself. As someone who was raised to wait and do life-changing things with a man..it feels good to say that this is ALL me.
  • This is the start of me setting my son up for success as this is an investment property and will be one of many properties I plan to own.

So now that I’ve got that out the way, I want to bring you guys along my journey. This can seem like an overwhelming process but stay persistent and motivated because the end result will be worth it.

When you start thinking about buying a home, I know it’s easy to get started thinking about what all you want your house to look like. HOWEVER, the most important and beneficial thing you could do is

CREATE A BUDGET

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Plan everything else around that. I know you’ve been to a car dealership or dealt with any type of sales person that tries to show you the nicest of the nice initially and then when you start to talk money, you damn near pass a kidney stone.

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Don’t let that be you. I personally started from the cutoff amount I was willing to spend monthly and then worked it backwards towards the principal of the overall loan.

Knowing what you can and can’t afford will save you a world of embarrassment and financial burden when you get to the bottom line. Nobody wants to be house poor.

THINGS TO CONSIDER

How much debt do you have?
What does your credit score look like?

Do you want to do a 15 year fix or a 30 year fix?

Is there a chick-fil-a within 10 miles?…you know…the important things.

FIND A LENDER

Know what type of loan you’re looking to get.  (FHA, VA, Conventional) Be very particular in this process because a 3.8% APR and 4.1% is a matter of thousands of dollars difference over the span of 15 or 30 years.

To avoid talking in circles I just ask what is the best interest rate their company offers for excellent credit and if that number is too high then move on. You don’t want hella companies pulling your credit so once you’re serious about this then narrow your options down. Typically there’s a grace period that credit bureaus will allow since they know you’re shopping around for interest rates so be mindful of that as well.

Discount Points

What are discount points Lo? I’m glad you asked! Discount points give you the opportunity to buy your interest rate down. So while that 3.8% might look good, you may also have to come out of your pocket $1400 at closing to get that rate. Of course it’s all about what you want but if you don’t plan on keeping your home for that long then I wouldn’t worry about it.

Make the process work for you

Once you’ve found a Lender, you can ask to see if they have any programs that will help you along the process of finding a realtor. Sometimes certain companies have preferred lenders as well and you potentially get some money BACK from the situation for using certain businesses. By the time everything is said and done, you want to save all the pennies you can.

Documents to prepare

Certain banks may ask for different documentation but overall you’re going to need to provide the following documents before you can be pre-approved:
Paystub for the last 30 days
Tax Returns for the past 2 years
Bank statements for the last 60 days
Proof of ID (license)
Divorce decree (if necessary)
Any properties/businesses you may own
investments
Child support

It may seem like a lot but they’re just trying to get an accurate representation of your financial situation so they can see just how much you can be approved for. Once you’re approved

IT’S TIME TO SHOP!!!

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THIS is the fun part. Think about how many bedrooms/bathrooms you want. Do you want a deck? Fireplace? Do you want crown molding? Recess lighting? The possibilities are ENDLESS! Usually the bank will let you know how long their offer is on the table for so you’ll have a good idea of how long you have to get a contract.

Once you’ve found a house and fallen completely in love, make your offer on how much you’re willing to pay but keep in mind the taxes that will incur. The seller will either counter your offer or accept it and then YOU HAVE A CONTRACT!

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At that point, it’s just a matter of underwriting your contract and reverifying certain details which may require you to submit/sign the same documents. Just be patient. Once you get your closing date, you’ll know what all you need to bring (hopefully no money) and then you be free to move in!

All in all, the process shouldn’t take any more than 2 months. It all depends on how fast you,  your loan rep, and realtor work. Buying a house is a huge accomplishment and investment if you do it right. Hopefully the tips I gave you were helpful. Let me know if you have any house buying nightmares or unique situations. Thank you for reading!

XO,

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SURVIVAL GUIDE TO COACHELLA

ALRIGHT EVERYBODY! By now, I know you’ve either seen or heard about Beychella, formerly known as Coachella. I am here to let you in on all the details from beginning to end as well as give you guys some tips to make your experience one to remember.

So first things first, check out the lineup to determine whether the trip and money is going to be worth it. You’re going to want to get as much as you possibly can for the money you’re about to spend.

There are many different packages available so it’s up to you to decide whether you want to camp out, get a hotel, etc. In retrospect, I’d definitely camp out because the combo of California and Coachella traffic is not of this world. Camping vs. traffic. Take your pick.

 

Once you decide you’re going to go for it, you need to be aware of how many days, hours, and minutes you are away from tickets going on sale because once the flood gates open, every second counts. If I was you, I would open up as many browsers as humanly possible that way when you get this screen below, you’re already 7 browsers deep in this thang.

coachella line

So once you’ve got your ticket, congratulations are in order and we wait for the most epically packaged box, like so, to come in the mail.

 

The tickets come with a pamphlet of in-depth details and guidelines ALL THE WAY down to which wrist you should display your wristband on. Super top secret squirrel stuff.

From here you have to download the Coachella app to activate your wristband and ultimately plan your entire experience. This wristband is your golden ticket so definitely make sure you activate it before you actually get out there.

 

When making your lineup list of artists you want to see it’s important to keep a few things in mind

  1.  Not everybody performs on the same stage
  2.  A lot of these stages are CLEAR ACROSS THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FESTIVAL.
  3. Some artists may perform within 30 mins or an hour of each other

I say that to say, the app will send you a 15 minute notification prior to the performances you want to see and if you think 15 mins is enough time to book it across 18 acres AND get a decent view, you’d be wrong.

Once you actually arrive at the festival, the world is your oyster. It’s definitely a vibe.

 

There’s people EVERYWHERE! There’s food everywhere. There’s music. It’s just a magical kind of situation.

I do recommend a face mask because the wind can be VERY disrespectful. You can also use it as a multipurpose tool so it’s a win win either way.

That about wraps it up people! Be sure to stay hydrated and wear comfortable clothes. I wish I would’ve taken more videos and pictures but some things are meant to be experienced and just downloaded on your mental hard drive. Sometimes pictures and videos don’t do enough justice as the real deal. I hope this was informational and that you decide to partake in the festivities in the years to come.

Thanks for reading!

XO,

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All Summer 18!

Hey guys! Summer is right around the corner and everybody knows with the warm weather comes good vibes. I’ll be making a few posts with different ideas to have your summer going up but today’s topic is festivals. Here are some festivals you can be on the look out for to make your summer one to remember. Summer is primetime for festival season which is kicking off this weekend with

Coachella. April 13-15 & 20-22.  Indio, California

coachella
If you’ve never heard of it before, shame on you. You can come across a lot of big name artists as well as newcomers that have some really dope music. Coachella is more than a festival. Issa mood. It’s an experience. A way of life. Once you go you’ll be changed forever so grab a friend and your most festive rags and make your way to Cali.

On the Run 2

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The King and Queen will be gracing us this summer with another tour. If you went to the original tour, you know that these 2 have great stage presence and A L W A Y S deliver. The tour will be kicking off on June 6 in the UK so hit up ticketmaster/vividseats to find a venue near you and get the experience of a lifetime!

 

Afro Punk. Brooklyn. Atlanta. London. Paris. Joburg

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This one is a traveling festival and more of a diverse crowd.  I know the phrase “that’s a black/white person thing” is very common so I always think it’s dope to acknowledge black people doing atypical “black things” If you want to celebrate your different tastes and maybe even learn about some more alternative choices in music and art, check out Afropunk. There’s a community for all of us.

Essence Festival. New Orleans. July 5-8

essence
This is your ultimate black girl magic celebration. All the black artists and professionals come out every year to uplift, promote,and just celebrate black excellence. Not only do they have great musical appearances, they have professional panels from all walks of life .

Curlfest. Brooklyn, New York. Prospect Park. 21 July

curlfest
This is for my naturalistas! You can come across some of your favorite natural hair and beauty bloggers/vloggers/influencers here.I know i’m always down for some hair inspoo and tips so if you’re looking to be surrounded by excellence that smells like honey, juices, and berries then check out Curlfest.

Made in America. Philly. 1-2 September.

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This is a music festival that Jay Z has been bringing us for a few years and it’s just a great way to celebrate our own artists. Whether you want to kick off the start to a new school year right or just check one last festival off your list for the year, I can’t think of a better way to end the summer.

Alright guys so these are just a few festivals that will last you throughout the summer but there’s PLENTY more. Make it a point to do something fun at least once a month this summer, especially if you’re a work-a-holic. Let your hair down, grab your favorite drink and friends, and take LOTS of pictures. Feel free to drop some fun festivals below! Thanks for reading!!

XO,

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Tis the season

 You guys know what time it is!

 Tax season!!

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Now for most people this means a come up, paying off debt, buying the large popcorn at the movies,etc. but for some of us this means diversifying our portfolio, building an emergency fund, or simply just putting it away.

This isn’t to say one thing is better than the other because depending on your lifestyle, this money may be the difference between a quick getaway to Rome and having to eat Ramen until the next check so let’s talk about a few beneficial ways to put this money to use because I don’t want this to be you

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As someone who used to live paycheck to paycheck I can completely identify with counting the days until the next check and relying on this refund for a little financial relief. That’s when I had to realize it was my habits and not the actual check itself. You would be surprised at how much money you could really save if you sat down and did a detailed budget. If you are living paycheck to paycheck and a contributing factor is debt, the first way you can use that refund is by alleviating the majority of your debt or at least making a significant dent in it.

Alleviate debt

Let’s say you have $5000 worth of debt and your absolute minimum payments are $150. First and foremost, never just pay the minimum. Before receiving your refund you should devise a plan on the most efficient way to get to $0 balance. I understand throwing your entire refund at a debt can be disheartening but you know what’s better? An extra $150 in your pocket monthly and $1800 annually.

damn

Invest 

It’s going to be hard for me to break down everything in a few short sentences about investing but i will say this. Do your research on return rates, compounded interest, and fees THEN Invest your money in something small first. Watch over it for 6 months or so and determine if this is something you want want to do. Make a watch list to see what’s doing well and what would be a good investment while you’re monitoring your current investment.

 Emergency fund

Alright so I’m not sure what kind of emergencies you have in your life but if they’re anything like mine, you know that $1000 might as well be $100. The point of the emergency fund is to NOT have a panic attack whenever unforeseen circumstances present themselves. If you know that you would have nowhere to turn if your car quit on you or if you needed to catch a last minute flight right now then your best bet would be to beef up that emergency fund with that refund. Thank me later.

 SAVE SAVE SAVE

Saving is a way of life. The savers of the world don’t even notice when their refund hit because they’re not looking for it. Be a saver. There’s a level of comfort and confidence that comes with knowing all your bases are covered. Now saving is different than an emergency fund and honestly you can never save enough. My aunt always told me to keep 6 months worth of bills in my savings but now I hear it should be closer to a year. I’m not ballin enough for a year yet but that is the goal. You should be able to survive should your cashflow abruptly stop. If you wouldn’t even be able to pay your car insurance for the next few months without a check….step that savings up.

Now if you’re good on all of these and you have money left over then by all means SPLURGE HONEY SPLURGE!!! Take some trips, buy some designer something, upgrade your car. The sky is the limit! My whole message behind this is to get you to a place where you’re not depending on a refund to make or break your financial readiness. So those are just a few suggestions. What are some responsible ways you can think to put your refund to good use. Let me know in the comments. Thanks for reading!!

XO,

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DON’T FEED THE NARCISSISTS

If i had to envision a spokesperson for Narcissists this would be it

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Narcissist- a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.

Now see, that just sounds like someone who’s vain right? WRONG! This person does things in the best interest of themselves at all costs. Depending on what they want for themselves will determine the type of people and situations they manipulate to move in their favor.

This is a term that I just recently started using properly because initially I just called these people liars or deceitful but honey, it’s SO much more than that. Narcissists have so many character flaws that trying to figure them out or how you can even defend yourself against them is confusing in itself. Your best bet is to cut them out of your life altogether if you can.

The reason this type of personality is so damaging is because the narcissist never stops to consider the people they involve in their mess. It’s not like these people come off as toxic or even somebody you should stay away from. They’re usually the most inviting and charismatic people you know and by the time you are even aware of what the hell is going on, you’re in too deep.

Narcissism is much like a disease or sickness so I’m going to go through a couple of things that lets you know the signs, symptoms, treatment, and ways to prevent yourself from even being in a position to deal with one.

Signs

  • Manipulation- This can come in subtle ways initially because if they’re obvious out the gate, you’ll be like HELL NAH and then they won’t be able to use you for their benefit. Types of manipulation looks like:
  • them attempting to make you comfortable and knowing your weaknesses. This way when they need to appeal to you, they already know what buttons to push.
  • THEM doing something completely wrong but getting YOU to question YOURSELF so you won’t focus on what just clearly went down.

The second you notice these things. TAKE OFF! and I’m not talking about a light jog..i mean like…

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this leads me to my next sign

Deception

This is probably the worst one of all. If you’r’e being manipulated, you’ll catch on pretty quickly. If you’re being deceived, this means you are believing a fallacy for whatever reason when reality couldn’t be further from what you’re being led to believe.

This is when lying comes into play and I swear to you there’s nothing I hate worse than a liar. The only thing that might be worse than lying is everything that follows behind that lie to get me to believe it instead of letting the truth flow freely. How tragic is it to hold a conversation with somebody not knowing if anything coming out of their mouth is true?

Symptoms

You won’t see symptoms immediately and this is with any type of relationship whether it be friendship, family, business partner, etc. Depending on how embedded this person is in your life will determine how much of an effect they have on you.

If you’re somebody who is extremely sure of yourself, you’ll notice it quicker but that is one of the more obvious symptoms. You’ll start questioning  your discernment and in a sense, be afraid to voice your concerns even when you know something is wrong. Next thing you know, your entire life will have gone to shit and you’ll be sitting there like

this is fine

Your overall confidence will drop and who knows where you could end up after that because confidence is absolutely everything. It affects your self love/worth and your ability to function in your normal state of being.

I know some of these things sound extreme but these kinds of people attack your mind and everybody knows once you conquer the mind, everything else follows. Imagine a family member you value changing the way you view yourself. Imagine your significant other manipulating you to the point of uncertainty or depression. Imagine a business partner convincing you that you’re not valuable and your dreams/visions will never come to fruition. NARCISSISM IS REAL!

Treatment

Once you finally get out of this miserable cycle, your first steps should be to regain your sense of self which will never happen if you are still in contact with this person in ANY way. CUT THEM OFF! I DON’T CARE WHO THEY ARE.

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Be honest with yourself about where you allowed things to go. Acknowledge what about you didn’t stop things from getting this far. Why didn’t you cut things off sooner? Some of these things sound like self blame but if you don’t identify them then what’s going to stop this from being a reoccurring thing?

The next thing you should do is occupy yourself with positive energy and people. If you have a passion, dive into it. If you do have amazing friends, lean on them a little bit..that’s what they’re there for.

Understand that your trust might be a little jaded but be patient with yourself and work on your discernment.

Prevention

I wish I could tell you that once you deal with a narcissist, you’ll never have to deal with one again but that’s a whole lie. In fact, you’ll find that even people who aren’t a full blown narcissist have narcissistic characteristics. Some people realize it. some don’t. The ones that realize it and don’t care to change are the ones you should completely stay away from. They’ll ruin your whole life AND plan your funeral. Just run girl. Again, no light jogs.

scammer

sorry, that’s just an excuse to use Joanne the Scammer gifs. ANYWAYYY

If you start to see the signs though, distance yourself. The sooner the better. Don’t give them an excuse..just dip. Don’t allow them to convince you that you’re wrong, don’t let them convince you that you owe them an explanation..the less talking, the better. DO NOT FEED THE NARCISSIST! Once they know they can maneuver your thought process, everything becomes a game to them and it’s ALL at your expense.

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Alright guys so I tried to give as much info as humanly possible without being OD on how to deal with and avoid narcissistic people. I hope some of these things will keep you on your toes. My most sincere condolences if this post if relatable. I know your pain BUT when you know better, you do better. Let me know about your encounter with a narcissist or more things to be on the look out for. Thanks for reading!

XO,

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Single life.

Hey guys! Today I just want to talk about the single life. Some people dread it, some people embrace it, but at some point being single is inevitable so let’s talk about it.

For me personally, I didn’t even have my first real boyfriend/gilfriend dynamic until my senior year of high school. Prior to that I was “the homie”. You could say I was friend zoned but my pride won’t let me remember it that way.

friendzoned

Anyway, so when I finally found somebody that thought I was more than “cool” you couldn’t tell me anything, it was all bae EVERYTHING! Look what bae sent me. Look at how bae breathes. you know..the usual. lol. I could finally participate in PDA and wear his hoodies. Bae was life.

Obviously after senior year comes college or whatever path you choose to take and mine just so happened to be the military, which ended up relocating me to Germany. Bae was no longer life.

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Somehow I landed myself in a relationship that took up the latter part of my teens as well as most of my early twenties. There were some ups and an excessive amount of downs but by the time I looked up and found myself single again, I was 23. It was then that I realized I’d always had SOMEBODY. somebody to consider. somebody to support my food habit. somebody to put my cold feet on and now I had NOBODY.

I had to do some real soul searching to find my identity again and some things I threw into the mix along the way but ultimately, I have fallen head over heels for myself and I actually prefer to be by myself now. Here are some things to appreciate in your singleness.

Sleeping Alone

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The only thing better than sleeping with your boo..is NOT sleeping with anybody at all. Sure, cuddling and morning sex is great but not dealing with morning breath and not fighting over the covers is even better.

Not sharing food

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If I had to make a list of things I hate, sharing my food would be up there next to people that sneeze while in close proximity and don’t cover their mouth. Even my son gets the stare of death when he asks for my food. GET YOUR OWN!

 

 

Leaving messages on read

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Leaving somebody on read is the ultimate idgaf. It’s disrespectful, heartbreaking, and it gets the job done. I personally don’t do the read receipt bit because my heart isn’t made of ice but I’ve been left on read more times than enough and I had to go stand in the mirror to reevaluate life. However, in your singleness you don’t have to be bothered if you don’t feel like it. Try leaving your bf/gf on read in a relationship and let me know how that goes for you.

Here are some things that I began to appreciate about myself in my singleness.

I’m hilarious

laughYa’ll, I’m real deal hilarious. The things I laugh about to myself make me wonder why I don’t pursue stand up comedy or some type of improv situation. I’ve gotten my jokes up significantly and now all I do is laugh. There’s no way you can sit around me for any significant amount of time and not laugh.

I exude good vibes

khartKnowing dope people is the next best thing to being a dope person and that’s what I aim to be. I want people to enjoy being around me and be happy to say they know me. A person with good vibes is next to godliness and makes the most mundane things in life exciting.

 

 

 

 

I’m self sufficient and fearless

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The thing about being alone is that you get to see what you’re truly made of in every aspect. I’ve found myself on many solo adventures or some days I wake up and decide I want to do something out of the norm. It’s a good feeling to be able to decide on something and not need anybody’s help or input.

So those are my awesome single life discoveries and favorites. What are some things you guys have learned to love in your singleness? Thanks for reading!

 

XO,

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Benefits of the Late Bloomer.

I think everybody goes through a phase where at some point you’re surpassing or being surpassed. It’s then that you realize everybody moves in their own time and your path is just that..YOURS. I have found in most cases that I’m a late bloomer. This used to frustrate me because people would just blow by me and no matter how hard I would try to get on the fast track it never worked out.

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When I started to see this pattern with myself, it became easier to accept the journey for what it was. There were even a few times where I was able to get a glimpse of the fast life but quickly learned I wasn’t happy there or I just wasn’t able to maintain at that speed. While it can feel like you’re being left behind there ARE some benefits to being a late bloomer.

Free Game

This is what I consider learning lessons without having to pay the price. Whether its a business or a certain lifestyle, you can always stand to listen to the words of wisdom from those that came before you. I promise it will save you time, money, and plenty of disappointment/failure.

 Not immediately, but indefinitely

There’s something about taking your time to come up that makes the quality of your glow blinding. Sometimes life is happening so fast for people that there’s a lot of trial and error going on. This isn’t to say that living and learning is a bad thing but if you get the chance to take your time in evolving, do that and make it count. A million people can be before you but if you take note of things that don’t work, it can solidify your moves even more.

 Fine like wine

We all know that person that got all the attention in high school or college but now they can’t survive on their good looks and charm. Taking a little more time to catch your flow can be a great thing. While some people have burned out, you’re just getting started and looking good while doing it. It can take the better part of your 20s to even realize why you’re on this planet so don’t sweat it if you find people moving a little faster than you. Once you catch that glow up, it’s over for any type of doubts or insecurities you may have had.

 Glow up in Bloom

glow up

If you don’t know what a glow up is by now, we have bigger problems. Anyway, when your glow up is finally in bloom, you will have a greater appreciation for your delay. All the things that seemed to OVERLOOK you will come looking FOR you. Hopefully you will be ready for all the opportunities presented and life will become a thing of consecutive wins. That doesn’t mean you might not experiences any losses but they won’t be anything compared to your successes!

Look at me now

This isn’t a benefit but the petty in me wouldn’t let me post this without this last little bit. The BEST part of the glow up when you’ve been a late bloomer is shining on ALL the people that passed up on you, treated you like you were insignificant, and especially those who SPOKE negatively about you. It just really warms my soul because even if they WANT to be a hater, they can’t..there’s nothing bad to say so guess what..

khaled

 

So these are benefits that I’ve found in my late bloom. It has been a struggle but ultimately it’s beautiful. What is a benefit you’ve experienced in blooming at your own pace? Let me know in the comments! Thanks for reading!

XO,

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New Money

 

Hey you guys! I was going to hold off on all things parenting because I wanted to do a whole segment like #thelodown and #ayolo but I figured now would be as good a time as any to talk about it so lets get it.

This post is specific to setting your kids up for success and providing the proper knowledge that honestly, most schools don’t.

I remember the first time I really learned about investing was my sophomore year in high school from my social studies teacher. This was the first time it was explained to me in a way that wasn’t so intimidating and I think that’s a main reason that most people don’t like to get involved.

While investing is a GREAT way to set your kids up for success, I want to explore other ways that may not be so complicated. Even if you’re not dealing specifically with trust funds, bonds, CDs, MMAs, mutual funds,etc you’re still investing by doing something that is going to provide you or your loved ones with future rewards so let’s get right to it.

*Disclaimer: this is not for the people who open up credit in their child’s name because yours isn’t up to par then end up ruining your child’s credit before they can even enter the real world*

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Make your child/children an authorized user on your credit card.

So this is only assuming that you have great credit and you’re not in debt. Most recently I added my son who is 2 to my credit card as an authorized user. I keep a $0 balance on this card for the most part unless I get gas but I pay it off within the month.

The point of this is to help them establish credit. We all know there’s different components that make up a credit score and I feel the one that has always hindered my score is Age of Credit History. I got my first credit card when I was 17 so even though I have next to 0% utilization, 100% payment history, 0 hard inquiries or derogatory marks my score has never been as perfect as I want it to be.

If you’ve been through the struggle of trying to buy a car with no credit then I really don’t even have to go into detail on the importance of credit. I feel like as long as you’re 750 and up, you’re good to go.

 Buy property, pay it off, put it your child’s name

This is something I’ve been plotting on since my son was born and now i’m finally in the position to act on it. This year I will be buying my first home and it will be dedicated to my son. The goal is have it paid off by the time he’s 18 but I probably won’t give it to him until his early 20s. There’s a few reasons behind this decision:

I want my son to have options in this world. I had to start from scratch with everything i’ve acquired up until this point so if I can give him a proper foundation to continue raising the bar for generations to come, then I’m gonna do that.

I realize there’s more than one way to be successful. Yes, education is important but there’s also a variety of ways to be educated. If my son felt like he didn’t want to go to college immediately because he wanted to explore the world or just chose any non-traditional path, i want the world to be his oyster.

If he did decide to go to college, he already has a residence in state just in case he wanted to attend a university in our current state so we wouldn’t be looking at out of state prices. Even if he wanted to attend an out of state school, he could rent out his home, and use that money to pay for his own apartment and have residual income because..room and board?

nobody got time

The biggest benefit is if your child has an entrepreneurial spirit and wants to start their own business. We all know it takes money to make money so even if he sold the house for $250k, that’s still a good foundation to start with.

mt

I know people think offering your child the world on a platter will spoil them but I believe if you give them the knowledge behind it all, that’s the biggest gift you can give. Even if they lost it, they could make it right back because they understand the process behind it all. It’s all about opportunity people. You think these billionaire families made each generation start from scratch? No! So prepare your kids for this world so we can build for the future.

I hope I was able to shed some light on ways to set your children up for success. What are some ways that you guys are preparing for the future? Let me know in the comments below. Thank you for reading!

XO,

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Glow On

I’m sure by now everybody has heard about Camron and JuJu’s breakup but if you haven’t, just click these links to see for yourself and form your own opinion because I’m about to be HELLA biased.

Cam’ron Interview

JuJu’s interview

So we’ve seen this dynamic 1000 times over! right?

boy meets girl
girl supports boy *in the shadows*
girl starts to get shine and step her game up
boy feels a way
*the glow up continues*
boy feels jealous, intimated, and unimportant ultimately ruining the relationship due to ego and insecurity

tammy

Of course none of us are actually Cam’Ron and JuJu so there’s no way to know the entire story but that’s why i’m speaking on this DYNAMIC between men and women instead of their story specifically.

As I continue to go through life, I’ve seen a lot of women have to trade love for success. It is really unfortunate but when you can clearly see there’s more for your life and there’s somebody sitting at your table that is not only NOT happy for you but holding you back, you gotta make the tough decisions to let them go. While this is a hard decision, usually your life begins to pick up right afterward so the pain is definitely worth it.

cardi

Now i’m not talking about being patient with a person while they try to find their legs in life and leaving them in the dust when they aren’t moving at your pace. THAT is whack because people come into their own in their own time and when the glow up DOES happen for them you gonna be REAL salty standing on the outside looking in.

belly

However, I’ve seen on the flip side where men are able to get their ego to take a backseat and support their women but the women have to make a conscious effort to still make their man feel important and in a sense tend to their ego.

My personal belief is that there is enough room for BOTH people to shine and since you’re working for the same team, all you’re really doing is bossing up your own kingdom. Where’s the crime in that??

Some people are so comfortable in one dynamic though whether it be them being the primary provider or them being the one in control that if that dynamic changes, they don’t know how to function in a different light. That’s a real problem! Partnership is about growth and change so you’d be crazy to enter a relationship thinking that the person you’re with isn’t going to change with time. You should both be pushing each other to evolve and encouraging each other to be their best self.will and jada

The main thing that let me know Cam’ron was feeling a way was his whole “It just wasn’t fun anymore” statement. Everybody knows that relationships are full of ups and downs and sometimes you DO lose the spark but you’d be insane to end things instead of coming up with new ways to spark the flame.

I think the biggest thing about growing with a person is being able to check yourself and be honest enough to say, you’re feeling a way and explore why that is. If you don’t, you’ll let small things turn into big things just because you don’t have your mind right and that will start to develop negative characteristics inside you.

lurk

There’s no reason trivial things like social media should have a significant impact on a relationship that has stood the test of time. If it does, you’re dealing with a different issue like maybe:

one person isn’t getting as much attention as they would like so they start looking for it from people on social media or you start to feel insignificant so you do publicity stunts to make you feel less inferior but that’s why it’s so important to check in with your partner.

I honestly believe that sometimes it IS ok for the man to sit in the passenger seat. Now let me be clear. I’m not saying it’s cool for him to not have a job and not contribute anything to the house. I’m saying maybe he’s making less money than you for a period of time and you have to be able to take the financial reigns in the relationship. That’s fine! You should WANT a partner who is able to do that. That’s why Cam’ron’s attitude of “this isn’t fun anymore” baffles me because all she was trying to do was make sure they would be FOREVER straight.

If I had to give any advice from this situation for ladies, it would be to always do you FOR you. People love to talk about the “I’m an independent women and I don’t need no man” spiel but that’s because those type of woman don’t HAVE to stick around the for bs. If you’re not being treated right, you have all the resources you need to leave.

The other piece that goes with that is being your own person. That’s why I say do you FOR you. If JuJu had been so stuck on having her ducks in a row for Cam’Ron, she would’ve been mentally imprisoned in the situation EVEN THOUGH she has the resources to leave. This would’ve led to all types of disrespect levels which we can already see was starting to happen in the very end according to JuJu’s interview.

If a man is feeling some type of way about your success, those are HIS issues to work out within himself and NOTHING you do is going to assist in that process. It’s truly something that you have to detach yourself from in order to continue growing. Dead the situation and let the people who wanna see you win enter your life.

So that’s all I have for you guys! What are your thoughts on situations like this? Thanks for reading!

XO,

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